DanRollins

Osaka, Kyoto, Tokyo -- Japan 2010

2010-05-23T06:07:00.000-07:00

My daughter Amanda has been begging us to visit her in Osaka, where she lives now. We talk to her on Skype videophone, but we haven't seen her in almost two years. Well, here's what happened, along with a lot (probably way too much) of detail on our first experience in Japan.

Thursday
The flight was more than 11 hours, and we had to manually transfer luggage in Tokyo for the plane to Osaka (some Customs rule, I guess). But all went well. Amanda met us at the Osaka airport. It was REALLY GREAT to see her again :-)

We took the subway to our hotel at a stop within a few blocks of Amanda's apartment (in Osaka's Namba district). Jane was tired and went to sleep, but Amanda and I went to a little neighborhood-pub type place (with the oddly-French name of "Le Grand Bleu") where she says she sometimes sits and reads manga (there are "One Piece" anime posters on the wall, which is why Amanda loved it from the first time she visited).

The owner/bartender kept putting free drinks in front of me (I think I was suppose to learn to appreciate the difference between Northern and Southern Japan "vodka". They were both pretty good (it was 40-proof sake).

Friday

Osaka Castle
Jane and I did this one without a guide as Amanda had to work. It was beautiful and we had a great time. This picture is the moat and one of the guardhouses. The Castle is huge. One thing that tickled me was that there were several groups of school kids (in uniforms with brightly-colored hats) being shepherded around the site.

Inside the Castle, one group of girls all had worksheets to fill out, so they would learn from the many exhibits. I watched the "alpha girl" carefully filling in blanks with the inscrutable ideograms (but the world is comprehensible -- other kids were looking over her shoulder and copying the answers!)

I told Jane I thought they were fifth graders, and she thought younger... She was able to learn from one group of kids that they were in third grade (you can do that in sign language). But then they had a question for her! She finally said her one memorized Japanese phrase: "Wakari masen Watashi wa amerika-jin" and THAT answered their question!!! A teacher came around and told her they'd asked where she was from.

We were definitely recognized as foreigners... Several times, a child would sing out "Hello!" -- Proud of his or her one-word fluency in English. We saw one other couple who were not Asian -- it turned out they are from Denmark and they teach English at ECC (like Amanda). Interestingly, neither one could speak Japanese -- it's an "immersion class."

That night, Amanda had arranged for us to dine with some of her adult English students. We ate at a place where everything costs 300¥ ($3.50). We chatted and laughed, and had a fun time. Occasionally Amanda would put on her "teacher hat" and force somebody to use English "You ...uhhh... fly ... America, ...uhhh... OK?" "Yes! *Absolutely!* Good job!" We had a gift exchange, where we (well, Jane) gave out some La Cresenta honey and some hand-made bookmarks. I got a colorful handkerchief/hand towel, and the "pretty, young" gal pantomimed a demonstration of all the things I could do with it.

That was followed by a trip to a "Karaoke box" with Amanda's students. It's not a public stage -- it's a private room. Amanda is a very talented singer, in both English and Japanese. I did a monotone version of "Rocky Racoon" (?) ...from the White Album (?) ...the Beatles (?) ...that group that Paul McCartney was with before Wings... (oh!)

Even the shy "pretty, young" student (who turned out to be 38) sang with gusto. She was such a sweet lady... when I went to go to the restroom, she came out and pointed me in the right direction then she pointed emphatically at the number on the door of our karaoke room. I realized how thoughtful that was when I was walking back -- the corridor is just room after sound-proofed room and they all look the same from the outside.

Saturday

We took the train to Kyoto to see the Yasaka shrine. This was to be our "See Japan as it really is" day. It was a holiday at a popular holiday spot, and we saw a number of women dressed in traditional kimono, some with faces painted (I'm the one on the right, in case you are confused). I bought an ancient Japanese coin and an old brass ink-box with a poem inscribed on the lid. I later learned that the writing is Chinese, not Japanese (I was hoodwinked!!!!)

That night, Amanda went back to Osaka and Jane and I stayed at a "traditional Japanese" hotel: Paper walls, a futon instead of a bed. There are no chairs; just a low table. A multiple-course dinner is served in your room. The sliding door in back leads to a beautiful tea garden and there is a view of the mountains. We each enjoyed a wonderfully relaxing hour in the onsen (public hot tub -- much more on the onsen, below).

Sunday
Takarazuka!
We went to Takarazuka City to see a live performance of the musical, "Scarlet Pimpernel," performed by a world-famous troupe... with a twist. Women play all of the roles. The ones who play male roles have low voices and have been trained to walk and gesture like men. These, especially, are huge celebrities in Japan. The shows are usually (nearly always) in a Western theme (Phantom of the Opera, Gone with the Wind).

I did not understand two words in a row, but I enjoyed every minute!

The curtain call of a Takarazuka show is almost an art form in itself.

At one point, a matched set of about forty beautiful Japanese girls wearing goldilocks wigs came out doing a Busby Berkeley number. I guess it is some sort of universal truth that if you get more than thirty beautiful women on a stage at one time, you reach critical mass and there WILL be a Rockettes-style kick line. It was fantastic!

The curtain call goes on and on. There are these stage-wide stairs and each set of actresses paraded down and took a bow, each to a tremendous ovation. Then they cycled back and came down again, wearing different costumes! Each set of girls was more outlandishly dressed than the previous. Just when I thought they had gone perhaps one step beyond believable, the music swelled, the drums pounded, and the spotlight hit on the lead actress (a "male lead") as she slowly flowed down the steps in an incredible gigantic costume of feathers and air. I was beyond delighted... this was physically tickling my show-biz bone! Jane and I both applauded and laughed out loud in the pure thrill of the spectacle. Amanda had to stiffle her own hoots and remind us: Laughter was not appropriate!

I'm me, so I was knocked out by the kick-line. Here are two YouTube videos I found: Closeup look and Similar to what we saw. This one gives a feel for the curtain call spectacle and this one.

Amanda knows just how much Jane and I both love musical theater, and she could not have made a more perfect choice of unique and interesting activity for us. It's one of my favorite memories of the trip.

Sunday:

We met Amanda's host family who had made her Junior year so perfect for her. Yasutaka ("Rocky") who is retired from Panasonic and his wife Tomiku invited us to a performance they put on at a Community Center. It was for a Haiku Club and there was an upcoming Haiku contest. Japanese Haiku is a true art form. The best can be interpreted multiple contradictory ways. Amanda spoke of a student who could not even imagine that haiku could be done in English.

Rocky and Tomiku put on this show with these unusual devices made of paper and bamboo that could be fanned out and configured in many ways. There was audience participation, and Amanda was the drummer (Taiko -- which I have always assumed was spelled "tycho" and just spent a half hour figuring out).

Other parts of the show included a magician and a comedian. Verbal comedy is, well, difficult, when you don't understand the words (duh) but Amanda would quietly translate (between gaffaws). The comedy bit involved this very drunken guy who goes to a noodle restaraunt and though the server tells him that it is a mediocre noodle restaurant and charges 600¥ he insists on paying 1000¥ as a matter of honor. Then he's distracted by his own elloquence and adds so much hot pepper to the food that he could no longer find any noodles. He eventually wants the extra 400¥ back (this got a huge laugh). The comedian sat at a low table and pounded a sort of gavel for emphasis. It was very funny.

Rocky took us to a Shinto shrine of his favorite god (the patron god of gamblers, among other things). Interestingly, there was a monument to Thomas Edison there! Edison had used some Kyoto bamboo when he invented the light bulb! There was also a wall of sake barrels.

We were invited to dine at Rocky's house and Tomiku prepared a marvelous dinner. This was another high-point of the trip, to see inside a "real" Japanese residence. Rocky and Tomiku were so gracious and friendly! They showed us photo albums of the kids they had hosted over the years and a video of an annual party where they use a giant mallet to pound rice (for some inscrutable reason :-) I showed them pictures of the Great Fire of Ought Nine. Afterwards, we watched a baseball game between the Tokyo Giants the Osaka Tigers. This is a huge rivalry, and it was very cool that we all shared this same love of the game. It was one of the few times during the entire trip that I knew exactly what was going on...

Monday.

We visited Arima. There is a cable car ("ropeway") to Mt. Rokko (Rokko-san) From the top, there is a wonderful view of the Kobe seaport -- every square inch covered with buildings.

Onsen there -- the "silver springs" (I have a towel) that proudly touts that its water has the healing power of radium. In for a penny, in for a pound. When in Rome... Marie Curie, save me a spot in heaven...

Slightly funny scene.... I got out of the onsen a few minutes before Jane and Amanda. So I decided to go outside for a smoke. But my shoes were in a locker (we had put all three pairs in the same locker and Jane had the key). I stood at the door, thinking I probably ought not to go outside in my socks... but... ah, what the heck... As the door slid open an old lady sitting by the door said "No! No!" and pointed at my feet in clear distress. I pointed to the locked locker... She made a gesture, like turning a key...

I said I don't have the key, and shrugged. There was nothing else to do, so I started to open the door again... "No! No!" She stopped me again. This time she pointed to one of two pairs of slippers that were near the door. Ah... Hah! These were slippers for people who needed to step outside. It would be unthinkable to do that in your socks!

Tuesday
We took the Shinkansen (bullet train) to Tokyo.

We met an English-speaking volunteer guide named Hiroko. Jane had found out about this free service and had been emailing with Hiroko for weeks. Hiroko lead us from place to place, and got us through the maze at Tokyo station (including parking our overnight bagggage at the coin locker, and against all odds, finding the same locker later on).

We went downtown to the Gardens of the Imperial Palace. This was one of the "Golden Week" holidays -- traditionally called "Boy's Day" (aka, "Children's Day.") 5th day of the 5th month; Hiroko said it's traditionally about "purification rituals" but the carp banners and the sweet treat called kashiwa-mochi is what it's all about now.

We visited Shinjuku -- government office building -- it's great view of central Tokyo from high up.

Walking around downtown, we noticed a commotion -- a crown of onlookers watching as a very large man, dressed in drag, was preparing to get into a really tiny car. There were lights and a filming crew capturing the sequence. Hiroko said that it was a famous comedian.

We also rode the monorail and stopped at the "Toyota Mega Web" center. There was an open-air show in a quad there, featuring Hawaiian hula dancers. We looked around inside (interestingly there are several models of Toyota sold in Japan that are not seen here in the U.S.; that, and the steering wheel is on the wrong side...) When we came back outside, they had a line of twenty or so little girl hula dancers in leis and grass skirts up front and a bunch of volunteer hula students on stage. It was cute and charming.

NINJA!!
Amanda's brilliant planning included a dinner at a theme restaraunt in Tokyo. She promised it would be "campy" and it certainly was... in the most entertaining possible way! You enter a dark room and confirm your reservations, then... suddenly a black-cloaked and masked figure jumps onto the floor ("Haiii Ya!") from a hidden trap door and leads your "Ninja training." You are taken through winding dark corridors and see a chest of gold (touches sword menicingly... "You keep Ninja secret!") over a hidden drawbridge through some more dark halls and finally into a semi-private booth of the dining area. The place looks cold and dark, and damp, but it just looks that way. We sat right below where Stephen Spielberg had signed the rock wall.

The menu is a scroll which the Ninja server opens with a startling zzzzzzzip!! We chose a preset combination, and I carefully ordered heated sake (it is usually served at room temperature). The meal consisted of course after course of Ninja-themed fine dining. One item was a half grapefruit pierced by a short sword. Our Nija server had Amanda hold the fruit while she slowly pulled out the sword and... mist came boiling and swirling out of the holes ("Don't look below... Ninja magic!"). It was a visual treat.

Our meal included plates of sashimi, which I donated to Jane and Amanda. I quipped that this would be really good if it were deep fried. The Ninja server said something in Japanese, and Amanda translated ... "but, but,... then it would not be sashimi!"

Jane's dessert was in the likeness of a perfect tiny bonsai tree, growing from a hill of some kind of sherbet.

All through the meal, Amanda and I would wisecrack in hushed tones...

He he he..., I'll distract you with magic tricks... so I can SLICE YOU TO PIECES!

Here's your delicious dessert... and your INSTANT DEATH!

My main course was steak ("Kobe-niku"), and I don't believe I have ever eaten anything better. It was so tender it just melted in my mouth.

While we were eating, a Ninja came to the table and performed magic tricks. I love up-close magic! (Jane and I have been to the Magic Castle in Hollywood several times). This guy was very good! What I really liked was that he was visibly enjoying himself. He'd laugh at his own jokes, and even laugh before the trick (secretly knowing what was about to happen).

Our Ninja magician did several card tricks. In one, he had us pick a card which he shuffled into the deck, then he placed the entire deck into Jane's palm-down hand. With a few flourishes he then pulled the deck out of a vest pocket and looked confused -- looking at the deck and back at Janes hand (where it's supposed to be)... Then (laughing) he flips Janes hand over to reveal that there is only a block of clear plastic there...

A few tricks later, he does the finale... He showed us the ace of spades, shuffled it into the deck and then tapped his vest as it rose out of a concealed pocket. He kept tapping, saying "watch... watch... watch..." and the empty card packet also came out... now he's seriously guffawing as he keeps saying "watch... watch... watch..." and shakes the box until... Jane's wristwatch comes tumbling out!

We were amused and delighted. Bowled over, in fact. It was a perfect night.

Wednesday.
This part of our itinerary was to see Mt. Fuji and tour a famous mecca for western royalty, the Fujiya Hotel. We took the bullet train from Tokyo and transferred to a local to get to Hakone. This was a "switchback train" -- that is, it stopped and changed direction three times as it went up the hill. Each time it stopped, the conductor walked to the other end of the train and changed places with the rear brakeman.

The hotel has been there since 1878. It is marvelous. There are black-and-white photos from pre-war era (this Duke or that Princess had stayed at this world-famous hotel) -- but Amanda said the photos creeped her out -- it reminded her of "The Shining" So I did my talking finger bit, "REDRUM... REDRUM..." A stand-out memory is that we did not need to take off our shoes as we entered the guestroom. After nearly a week in Japan, that seemed strange.

We enjoyed the onsen and Amanda and I went to a jazz bar where we got basically a private show -- it was off-season I guess (room prices were on a half-price special "for our overseas guests").

In the morning, Amanda and I took the trail up the hill to catch a view of Fuji-san. It was a strenuous hike -- steep at times -- through a thick green canopy. It felt subconsciously odd in that so much of the vegitation was differnet from what I normally see on a hike. I kept expecting wood elfs to pop out from behind moss-covered trees. Amanda spotted a lizard, but very unlike the Horned Lizard one might find on a trail above La Crescenta, this was smooth and slick like salamander.

We finally got to the wind-blown viewpoint and took pictures of Mt. Fuji. There was (unaccountably) some litter scattered around the site. Before starting back down we picked it all up (Amanda "risked her life" for one piece of cellophane). A few minutes down the trail, we met a small group of Japanese women and children on their way up. We smiled and said -- "You're almost there!" (which is the best news for a hiker :-) I smiled inside -- these hikers would not have their bliss interrupted by the sight of trash on the trail.

Thursday
Back in Osaka, Amanda took us to a Shabu Shabu restaurant. A hot pot -- boiling soup -- is brought to your table and you use chopsticks to cook thin strips of beef or pork in the broth.

We ask: How do you eat the egg? The waitress showed how to crack it in a bowl then scramble it with chopsticks. Then I adroitly grabbed it and dumped it right in the soup. What a gaffe! You are supposed to dip your cooked meat into raw egg (yech). I decided that I did not have to follow the rules and I cracked another egg directly into the boiling soup. I fished it out with the chopsticks, dabbed it in soy sauce and ate it in two gulps -- it was delicious.

One thing... It seems that "All you can eat" in Japanese really means "All you can eat unless one more dessert will bankrupt the corporation." Oh, well. Live and learn.

Friday
We were supposed to go to Nara -- a place where there are tame deer that walk right up to people. But Jane was coming down with a cold or bronchitis, so we stayed in the hotel in Osaka. She soaked in the onsen and felt much better the next day.

But I wanted to do some shopping (get a T-shirt with Kanji writing on it) so I went out in the rain and walked around the enormous shopping district in Namba -- miles of narrow streets filled with shops, colorful lights, and lots of activity even though raining (many of the streets are covered and for pedestrians only).

Take one left turn, then take a right... next thing you know, you are completely lost. I kept wandering for hours... Then, way in the distance, I spied a recognizable building (it's triangular with a gigantic doughnut hole in it), and was able to make my way to find the angle from which I'd seen it before, and from there, I could see a different landmark (the 00101 Cinema) and went toward it, and eventually got back to the hotel.

That night Amanda and I went to the movies to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. We're both huge fans of Johnny Depp AND he recited Jabberwocky (more or less). The 3D-glasses were more like goggles. You can buy beer at the concessions stand. Nobody laughs at the funny parts.

Saturday:

Tsuutenkaku tower in Osaka. At the top there is a wooden idol of a god named Billiken wearing a "What? Me worry?" grin... you're supposed to rub his feet and you get your wish. But I just love his caption:

The God of Things As They Ought To Be

Amanda wanted to go there partly because the area is famous for its Kushikatsu bars -- where you buy breaded and deep-fried meat on a stick. Yummy! You can dip the skewers into some community-shared sauce and Amanda said that the signs warn in no uncertain terms that you must NOT double-dip!

Sunday.
We said our goodbyes and went to the airport. There was a several hour layover in Tokyo.

My brush with greatness..
While waiting in the Tokyo Narita airport, a bunch of photographers swarmed around the boarding gate (paparazzi)... soon somebody wearing low-riding Levis and a loose hoody (his face mostly covered) walked by with a small entourage... and the cameras all started flashing. The group went down the hall where they could wait privately, then when the Priority line was empty, the group returned (more flashing and frantic movement by the paparazzi) and he boarded. There were two American ladies in front of us in the Economy waiting line and one went over and asked one of the photographers who it was.

Jin Akanishi

Amanda says he is a huge celebrity in Japan. Girls swoon, etc. Anyway, as we walked down the aisle in the plane, we walked directly past him, and that same American lady (who had never before heard the name) spoke directly to him -- "We're your LA fans!" and he showed us a nice smile.

But wait! There's more! After the 11+ hours of flight, I was outside the LAX terminal having a smoke, when Jin and and his crew came out and stood right next to me and lit up. I was thrilled speechless! (or more specifically, I didn't say anything, lol)

After flying for hours and hours, we got home earlier in the morning of the day we left.

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Random thoughts
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The language problem -- not so much:
Amanda had given us a Japanese lesson via Skype. The big two are "kon'nichiwa" (hello) and "arigato" (thank you). Jane learned to say "I don't understand you. I am an American."

During our stay, out of necessity, I asked Amanda to teach me the Japanese equivallent of:

I don't speak Japanese and have no clue about anything whatsoever; I can't even buy a clue (in case you are offering one for sale) I am rather dim-witted, sufferring from the unfortunate disability of being from America. I apologize with all of my heart that I have stepped on your toe with my absurdly gigantic foot as I moved about erratically and irresponsibly in this subway car.

She said: That's easy...

goh - men

Jane and I carried a piece of paper with the English and Kanji of the names, address, and phone number of each of our hotels. So, worst case scenario, we could pull out the paper and point to where we were staying. It also had Amanda's cell phone number.

Almost always, Amanda was right beside us to order meals and what not. So language really didn't turn out to be a problem, even when confronted with something like this subway-ticket vending machine.

However, there was one point where I really felt like an alien. Climbing stairs out of the subway, there was an old lady clearly struggling with her luggage. I stopped and instinctively wanted to help, but I realized that without language, I could not offer to take her bag. I hesitated, then walked on, but I felt sad about it.

The unexpected thing is that there is plenty of recognizable English text, all over the place. For instance, the local convenience store is named "FamilyMart" and there was one every couple of blocks. On the trains and subways, the announcements are always repeated in English. If you get lost, just find anybody in uniform and they will understand enough spoken English to set you right. Many restaurants provide English language menus as soon as they see that you are confused.

Aside: A lot of young people wear T-shirts and when there is writing on the shirt, it is always in English (I saw not even one exception). You can buy T-shirts with Kanji writing, but only at tourist shops. If you were to wear one with Kanji characters, you'd be ridiculed by your peers.

So English text has a peculiar place in Japanese society. You learn to read and write English in Middle School (Rocky said that soon, it will be mandatory in 5th or 6th grade). But only a small minority can speak English -- though many adults want to learn (thus, Amanda's employment).

While waiting for a train, Amanda grilled me on pronunciation of the "Romaji" text (that uses a recognizable alphabet). It's very easy because each vowel always has a single sound (I now understand that this is just a phonetic spelling of the existing spoken language, so the consistent vowel usage makes perfect sense).

For instance, if you see "e" it is always spoken as "ay" (like in play). So sake is "sock ay" (unlike in English where "e" might be "ee" or "eh" or it might be entirely silent, etc. My name is pronounced as "dawn role ins-u" (there is no "a" as in after), there's the peculiarity of the R/L thing, and for some reason they expect a semi-silent vowel sound at the end). The Kanji writing looks entirely like random scribbles to me. Though I could recognize the Kanji digits (一,二,三,四,五,...九) after Amanda gave me a lesson (amounts and other numbers are usually shown in Roman digits, anyway).

Money
Things cost a lot there. Hotel rooms in Tokyo can cost over $500 per night (Amanda set us up with some relative bargains). You can get a snack for $1, but expect to pay over $15 for a decent fast-food meal (noodles with ham). And one night we paid about $500 to feed the three of us (but we knew the cost going in, and it turned out to be money well spent). It seemed to me that we also fed a lot of money into subway ticket vending machines. We bought a Japan Rail pass, but that's only good for city-to-city trains.

I left a pair of 2x reading glasses at a hotel and then broke the earpiece of my backup pair. Unlike Mr. Monk, I don't carry a backup backup... Anyway, I tried a dozen "drugstore-looking" places and could find no such thing as reading glasses. You can buy them for as little as $3 at home, but I ended up paying 30,000¥ at an optometrist shop. The conversation was classic, though... (Amanda interpreting) "Wow, that's a lot... Do you have anything less expensive?" (answer, apologetically) "Alas, I am sorry beyond what mere words could express, but if you want something for less, you will have to go to a different store."

Credit cards are rarely used... everything is cash. And everything seems to cost a multiple of 100 or 1000 yen. You carry 1,000¥, 5,000¥ and 10,000¥ bills ($10, $50, and $100) in your wallet along with a pocketful of 100¥ and 500¥ coins. It's easy to do the mental conversion of 100¥ = $1, but you need to be careful to count the zeros!

And you're fooling youself a little because 100¥ is really about $1.15 or so. A 20,000¥ shirt looks like $20, but it's really $23. I carry a coin purse, and I would fold a few 1,000¥-notes into it (Amanda thought that was peculiar, and indeed most of the notes I saw or handled had never been folded).

No tipping! And that's just not an excuse to stiff the waitress -- it is culturally unacceptable to offer a tip. Don't prove yourself to be an ignorant American by offering. I wonder why it's that way... perhaps there is a loss-of-face issue.

I blew it with the money only once. At a convenience store, I started counting out thousand-yen notes to pay for an 800-yen purchase -- I got a particularly funny (and embarrased) look from the cashier as she shoved most of the pile back to me. Imagine watching some idiot putting down several $20 bills to pay for a pack of gum and a soda...

Walking around
There are bicycles everywhere and you almost never see them locked when parked. Sidewalks have bike lanes, and the centerline has raised ridges to make it easy for the blind to navigate (there are raised "dots" at corners, etc). You should tend to the left (not the right) when facing oncoming pedestrians or cyclists. Everybody waits patiently when the light is red, even if there is no traffic to be seen.

Jane's a New York-raised pedestrian... She gets up a head of steam and keeps moving. I had to work hard to keep the traditional two steps ahead of her...

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Some take-away oddnesses...
(culture shock items)
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Toilets! Either "traditional" ground level (squat and balance) or "modern" electrically warmed seat with remote control warm-water bidet -- very surpising the first time you try it. It has a "massage" setting and even a blow dryer.
There are no paper towels in the restrooms. When there is no blow-dryer, you either wipe your hand on your shirt or carry a handkerchief (like the one I got in a gift exchange).
Groups of young girls yelling in unison. This is an "audio memory." The high-pitched high-volume sound is very penetrating, especially when you can't associate meaning with the words. In one case, outside of a train station, two groups of girls were competing (I think one groups was trying to get people to come into a particular shop and another wanted donations for some girl-scout type organization).

Onsen -- public baths. Very different from the Jacuzzi at the gym. Quite hot (ahhhhh) at 42°C (about 108°F) and no bubble-jets (sometimes a few bubbles coming up from the center, to give it a "hot springs" effect). Amanda had described the ettiquite to Jane and I in detail.

The whole experience is sort of ritualistic. Wear the hotel-provided pajamas when you leave your room. Undress and put your clothes in a basket in the outer room. You must be naked (no swim suit). Bypass the first room (that's for drying off afterwards). In the hot tub room, you use a "cleansing station" -- a sort of three-sided cubicle with a small stool that has a hand-held shower -- and you lather yourself up well and rinse off before going in the water. Don't dunk your head; don't even let your hair hit the water in the pool (I put mine up in a Samurai-style topknot).

After one go-round in the cleansing station, I felt nice and clean and ready to soak, but I noticed that some guys that had already been cleaning when I came in were still working the soap. So I lathered up and shampooed again and rinsed off again (I didn't want to appear hasty).... But they were *still* cleaning. So I realized I'd need to be in for the long haul. I dug in and spent real time on my feet and legs, used a wet handtowel to scrub my back, even "worshed behind the ears"... It's quite different from the daily shower where you just get in and out as quickly as possible. Eventually, I eased into the hot pool and just enjoyed the water. At one hotel, the onsen also had a cold pool, so after about 15 minutes in the heat, you can cool off before a second pass. Heavenly.

Incidentally, the hotel was proud to announce that the onsen was now available for use by women -- on certain limited hours Friday thru Sunday. The culture shock: That means that up until (apparently) recently, women were not allowed access at any time (major gender bias, IMHO). It is a "business hotel" rather than a tourist hotel, and this might just reflect the fact that women are only recently entering the workforce.

Also: At the onsen in Arima, there was a person who did cleanup -- tidied up the cleansing stations, refilled the soap and so forth. The culture shock? It was a woman! She walked around in a room full of naked men and nobody thought anything about it.
The "pink car" on the subway. Women Only. Apparently the problem of being groped or otherwise violated is a problem. Amanda says that Japanese women are too embarrased and ashamed to report when it happens. There are instruction (in only Japanese) about what to do when you experience or see that happening.

I think that the cultural status of women must be in transition in Japan. In a decade, Japanese women will not only report such vile molestation, but will learn to adroitly kick yarbles. Then the "pink car" will be an ugly old memory. But in the interim, the government has provided this necessary protection. Strange, don't you think?
"Private Karaoke" Not up on stage in the public -- instead an enjoyable session in your own room with a small group of friends. Food and drinks are served.

The groups of uniformed students, especially the kids with brightly-colored caps. In Japanese public schools, you wear a uniform through *high school!* But that does not mean that everyone is a clone. I saw a group of three high-school age girls in pleated plaid skirts with "Sailor-Moon" blouses. Two of them had the skirt down to the knees, but the third had a modified version that easily qualified as a miniskirt. She had legs to proudly show off, bless her heart. Hurrah for originality!
Another Audio memory: Third-grader's "Hello!" -- in an utterly cute, almost sing-song voice (along with visual memory of the beaming proud smile I got when I answered "Hello!" back :-)
Shoes off! (note to self -- wear loafers, not hiking boots, next time) And.. There's a pair of slippers on the floor in the toilet room. I guess it would feel *wrong* to take even one step onto the tile barefoot...

Zillions of pretty girls, everywhere you look! Especially at public place like Osaka Castle and the shrine in Kyoto or shopping at Namba Parks. They were often in groups of three or more, walking and giggling with each other.

The fashions are different enough to leave an impression. You almost never see a plunging neckline, but you will see legs, and a common variant is short pants, often also layered with a short lacey skirt, and usually a pair of black tights.

Perhaps I just noticed the girls a lot since, well, I'm not dead. Amanda said she thought I was exaggerating. But I was able to point out several times we saw groups of 20 or 30 young women standing together -- with no guys nearby. I'm chronicling my memories here, and that's one of my impressions: There are more pretty young, single women in Japan than you can shake a stick at.
Vending machines! There are banks of these everywhere you go; for instance, three different sets in the alley behind Amanda's apartment. Mostly beverages, including hot (well, quite warm) cans of coffee or delicious milk tea. And at some restaurants, you make your order (and pay) at a machine that vends tickets, which you then present to your server. This is very efficient (but not so great if you can't read the scribbles -- you might get octopus-gizzard soup or something).
Teeny, tiny apartments. There's an entry way to leave your shoes, then hot-plate/kitchen, shower, separate (tiny) toilet room... which becomes the main area just wide enough for a twin-sized mattress on one side, a narrow couch on the other, and a two-foot area between them, which leads to a small balcony. Very efficient. Very small.
Litter -- hardly any on the streets. But oddly, it's often hard to find a trash receptacle... I had to put gum wrappers and such into my pocket and carry empty paper cups around for the longest time.
Beer in vending machines... EVERYWHERE! In train stations, at the theater, on the sidewalk... it's just another beverage. Also, for the first time since the 70's I saw cigarette vending machines. Smokes are cheaper there. Vending-machine beer costs $4 or $6 depending on size and stoutness.
Surgical facemasks: This is one of those things that strikes you as bizzare at first: Every so often, you see somebody, usually an older person, walking in public wearing a facemask. You'll also see a group of three or four teenage guys, and only one of them is wearing a mask. Reading up on this: They are generally worn to protect yourself (typically from swine flu or pollen), but quite often, it is worn as a show of social responsibility and consideration for others when you have a cold.

==============================================

Well, this is the longest blog entry I've ever posted and it took me several days to write. I wanted to record my impressions, and feelings, and I just couldn't let go of even the little stuff.

Amanda and Jane (especially Amanda) did a superlative job of setting everything up. Nothing went wrong. We had interesting fun everywhere we went and in everything we did.

It was fantastic to get reacquainted with Amanda (and to meet her kitty, "Kukki-do" (Cookie Dough), and to have a better understanding of what her life is like now. She really loves it there! That's wonderful, but also sad -- in that it means we might be apart for more years.

Hand-fitted rock walls/ Miles and miles of them (and Amanda)

Tea garden outside of our hotel room.

This is in Tokyo (look for the Starbucks Coffee Shop sign)

The Great Fire of Ought Nine

2009-09-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

Monday, August 29, 2009

The mountain is on fire. All of the mountains are on fire. I took this photo from my own backyard!

The past few days have been some the wildest -- and, at times, the most exhilarating -- of my life.

An enormous fire swept across the mountains facing the San Gabriel Valley and across 120,000 acres of the Angeles National Forest. These fires do happen, but they usually happen miles away from my house. And they are usually small, and get put out or a least contained within a day or two.

Sure, we are on the wilderness interface; it's that place where civilization -- well-lit streets, rows of houses with pools, telephone lines, HBO, broadband Internet -- meets the untamed chaparral. We are at a location where nobody can ever build a house above us -- less than 1/4 mile from the National Forest. Deers walk into our backyard, skunks sneak into the kitchen through the cat door, the occasional rattlesnake finds shade in our garage... And we like it that way. I grew up surrounded by mountains and I've only felt comfortable when near them. I can never find my orientation when I'm in the flatland.

Even here, in one of the largest metropolitan areas on earth, we have a feeling of being in the country. I can hike directly from my back yard, up past a circa-1900 stone-and-mortar cistern, past the treehouse I built for the kids 17 years ago, into Dukmejain Wilderness park, across a gurgling brook and even all the way up to Mt. Lukens. When the kids were little, we'd pack a lunch and go on "The Frog Hike" or "The Muck Hike" or "The Hole Hike" or to the "Kid-Sized Waterfall."

Just 200 yards above my house, we had places named "Camp Bob" and "Camp Amanda" where we could easily do an overnight trip, boiling water for cup-a-noodle soup and roasting hotdogs and marshmallows. Camp Amanda is below "Toe" among the trees we'd named "Tic, Tac, Toe, and Toto, too!" It looks out over an ocean of city lights. Camp Bob faces the other direction -- looking north, you would never know there was a city anywhere nearby.

I love the mountain behind our house. Curious about that stone structure a few years back, I cleared away some brush and found pipes and a large rusty valve assembly on the east end of it. You can barely make out "Pat. July 23, 1901" in the cast-iron housing. That makes it contemporary with the "historic stone barn" in Deukmejian Wilderness Park. When the kids were small, I built a very cool tree house in the California Live Oak near it. I've always been particularly proud of the "ell" joint I created to make it a split-level structure...

Well. the treehouse is no more. And the entire mountain looks a lot different now... but I love it all the same. Well, that's the background. I might as well get into the story of The Great Fire of '09.

27th Wedding Anniversary
Yep, Jane and I were married 27 years ago, last Friday, and we planned a trip to a bed-and-breakfast in Summerland, just outside of Santa Barbara. We woke up that day to the sound of helicopters -- BIG helicopters -- going directly over the house. We'd seen a large yellow tank -- the size of a semi-truck trailer -- placed in the Dunsmore Debris Basin and now it was in continuous use. Copters would fly in, hover above it to fill up with water then fly away to the area above La Canada where a fire was now burning.

We gave it a lot of thought, but we decided to go ahead with the trip. After all, the fire was miles away -- that general area had burned before and never gotten at all close to our house. Just in case, Jane gathered photo albums and genealogical documents and hauled them down to Nan and Evelyn's house which is well below Foothill Blvd. We drove to the B-and-B via Ojai, and had a great time (wink wink) Friday night.  Saturday... we visited Lotusland, Madam Walksk's incredible botanical garden in Santa Barbara.

But about 6 PM, we (ah, hmmm...{blush}...) turned the cell phones back on, and immediately got a call from Robert to say that the area above Markridge had been evacuated. He'd filled the car with computers and skedaddled down the hill to a friend's house. Nothing for it but to pack up and cut short our romantic holiday. On the way home, we listened to news radio and knew that this was real -- not just another distant 'threat.' We started smelling smoke in Fillmore (over fifty miles from the fires). When we got home, we found that police had a barricade across every street going uphill. Robert and I drove up to the house to see if we could make another pass at saving stuff. The policeman had to see a driver's license, but let us through.   Interestingly, many of the neighbors had not left. Again, the fire was still miles away, though it was now approaching from two directions.   Neighbors were standing around in the street as night fell -- the fire easily visible to the east and a smoky glow from the west.

The Red Cross Shelter at CVHS
The official Evacuation Center was at Crescenta Valley High School -- in the cafeteria. They had cots laid out, and plenty of food and drinks.   There were maybe 40- 50 evacuees, including none of our neighbors -- they all went elsewhere, I guess. We ended up spending parts of three days here. Our street -- the area above Markridge -- was the very last to be re-populated and the evacuation center actually closed up before the mandatory evacuation order was lifted.

We have a new kitten living with us -- named Camoflage (Cammy) -- because her coloring matches the carpet -- and we had put her in a pet carrier in the car. The Red Cross told us what to do -- take her to a designated animal shelter for the duration of the evacuation. She did not like being penned up like that, but there was really nothing else we could do. We'd not see her again until Wednesday.

Oddly, the area between Lowell and Pennsylvania was evacuated, as was the area to the east of Ramsdel, but there was a large "gap" where fire was easily visible but residents had not been evacuated. Later, I heard that our street had been designated as a pre-determined hazard area in the standing evacuation plans -- possibly because the hill had not burned in nearly forty years so the fuel level was exceptionally high.

For whatever reason, officials lowered the status to "Voluntary Evacuation" in our area so Robert and I went back home and stayed the night (Jane preferred to stay at the high school). We were watching the TV coverage, occasionally switching from the Dodger game to read the text screen alert messages displayed on channel 6... (Note: we had no computers to access the Internet!) At about midnight, a new alert came up: The level was to go back to "Mandatory" starting Sunday morning.

"Reverse 911" System
About one minute after the text notice changed on the TV, we got a phone call and an automated voice indicating mandatory evacuation starting at 8AM.   We learned later that there was a flurry of activity at the Evacuation Center: Apparently, the call had accidentally gone out to a large section of La Crescenta rather than the much narrower area intended. Lots of people packed up and went down to the high school only to find out that they should go back home.

"Controlled burn" Planned
Anyway, a policeman knocked on the door at 6 AM, and said that we'd need to be out soon. There was going to be a "tactical burn" in the area of Deukmejian Wilderness Park -- which is adjacent to our street.

In the morning, the air was unbelievably thick with smoke. The thermal inversion layer traps it all low against the mountains. It was as thick as a dense fog, making it hard to breath and stinging the eyes. We went back down to the air-conditioned shelter where the Red Cross volunteers had put out boxes of MacDonald's "Big Breakfasts" -- pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage. The tables were also groaning with piles of donuts, bagels, cookies -- some homemade by local folks, most donated by local businesses -- Yummy! Comfort Food!

Nothing to do, but sit around. I did get some sleep, but they did not start the tactical burn all that day. We read books, worked some sudoku puzzles, and talked to news reporters, but nothing else happened in our area on Sunday.

Monday:
Robert and I drove around looking for a vantage point -- a place where we could see our house or at least our neighborhood.  We went up the other side of the valley, and knocked on a door. The housekeeper said "The lady, she is not home, but she lets people go back there..." We walked to the back and what a view!

Deukmejian park was already a field of ashes -- though they had saved that enormous California Live Oak that's just above the "stone barn".

From this vantage point, I could see that the fire was coming not just from east and west, but that the entire mountain was burning from the top down -- so fire was coming at my house from THREE DIRECTIONS. Through the binoculars, I could see activity on our street, including one of my neighbors wandering around with his dog, talking to firemen.

And now, the fire was only a few hundred yards from my house. I watched as Tic,Tac,Toe burned -- "Camp Amanda" was destroyed as Toe, a large Ponderosa Pine tree, took fire in one big explosion.

I decided I just had to get closer. Robert and I drove up and, though the policeman at the barrier hesitated, saying "You can't go above Markridge," he did let us in again.

This time, there were at least five news vans and as many firetrucks. There were at least fifty firefighters in the immediate neighborhood There were a dozen men behind my house alone.

Yep, we walked right up the street, as if we owned the place. When nobody stopped us, we went into the backyard. The chief said "Is this your house?" And that's all. It turns out that there is a California law that says that a person cannot be forced to leave his home -- short of an arrest for misconduct. So... we were going to have front-row seats.

The crews had done a lot of work in preparation for the tactical burn. They had cleared an additional 10 feet behind the fence, down to the bare earth and had been spraying down the ground and especially the large pine tree against the fence line -- and the dangerous bed of pine needles and pine cones below it.

As we had come up the hill, we had heard "pop pop pop" -- and could see that a crew was shooting flares into the brush. The flares are unusual -- they would hit the ground then spark like fireworks and jump up and dance around. They are very effective. Soon there were pools of fire and the pools join into lakes, and the lakes into an ocean of fire.

Next, in my own backyard, we hear some radio chatter and the crew chief yells out "Everybody get ready! They're going to LIGHT-IT-UP!" Then a firefighter walked along above my fence and with a small flamethrower-type device and laid down a dotted line of fire. The slight up-hill breeze was perfect -- the line of fire grew, but for the first time, it was going away from my house.

The fire was climbing up the ridge on the west toward the treehouse, but by now the lake of fire on the east was gathering serious force. It moved to a stand of Laurel Sumac trees -- they have leaves that are covered with an oily substance to retain moisture -- and when the air is dry and the fire is hot enough, that oil evaporates all at once.

There is an enormous WHOOSH -- and the entire tree basically explodes. When that happened, a wall of heat radiated in our direction. We could really feel it. I took my cues from the firefighters. They were NOT rushing around, looking worried. Rather, they calmly watched the fire and checked, and re-checked their gear. The fire was burning madly, but it was controlled. It was supposed to be doing that!

If you look in the center of that photo, you can see the fiery demise of our wonderful treehouse.

At one point, I heard someone yell "Rock!" and saw a flash as a yellow-clad firefighter dove quickly to the side. There was a tremendous crash, and I could see that a piece of the chain-link fence was gone. The firefighter was unharmed, but it clearly is dangerous work.

What's with the rocks? The slope is covered with rocks of all sizes -- we sometimes call this town "Rock-Crescenta" -- and when there is an earthquake, it often jars a few boulders loose. They tumble for a while and usually get stopped by a tree. There they stay for years and years. Well, guess what happens when that tree suddenly disappears.....

Although it seemed like hours, the entire slope burned in just a few minutes. There were isolated hot spots, and the next day a crew came in to check it out and wet down some smoldering smokepots, but the controlled burn worked perfectly -- there was no fuel left to burn. The neighborhood was now safe and the crews could move to the west and focus on the next part of the fire. The "red line" on the map could be be changed to a "black line" indicating containment in this area.

There was still work for the firefighters. The fire was traveling downhill in Cooks Canyon to the west. A crew worked down the treacherous slope and up the other side, right behind the neighbor, Steve's, house, manually clearing a narrow firebreak. This is where they would hold the line. Helicopters came in to stop the fire on that line.

Robert and I were watching on the first water drop, and we got caught in the very edge of it; it felt like a short burst of a heavy rain, but the water was warm. We were standing there stupidly grinning at each other when the chief yelled "HEY! Get the Hell OUT of THERE! He's coming back for another pass!"

We scampered beneath the eves and avoided a major soaking -- those things drop a LOT of water!

Aftermath:
The hills are a moonscape of black ashes.

We can expect significant problems when the rains come. There will be "debris flows" -- mud mixed with ashes -- and it will be a serious problem if we have an El-Nino rainy season this year. We can certainly expect more big rocks to come tumbling down.

It took a while to unpack the cars and get the computers set up, but things are starting to get back to normal. There is a strong smell of ashes, and still some smoke from distant files (the "Station" Fire is still burning and has consumed great swaths of the Nation Forest where I've hiked so many times with the Sierra Club). But the smell is less powerful now and it diminishes each day. And there is even a major upside! -- There is basically no chance that this hill will burn again for at least 10 years.

The plant life on these mountains -- the "chaparral" -- has evolved to survive fires like this. The mountain burns in the summer and then in the spring, ashes wash down to the valley (making it into excellent farmland, until it gets paved over), but the trees tend to be able to survive the fire and regrow from the roots.

In the spring, the hills will be greener than ever since the grass and wildflowers won't be choked out by the brownish-green sagebrush.  But in two years, the sagebrush will be back and in three, there will be surprisingly-large trees again.   I certainly look forward to hiking up there and watching it all happen.

We did not get hurt. Aside from the fence, we sustained no property damage.   Yes, we are lucky -- but not that we are alive... we were never in any physical danger. The big luck was that the air was so calm. Had there been a Santa Ana wind blowing, well... this story might be a lot different. The fire crews had plenty of time to prepare the area, and the government was able to put thousands of people and billions of dollars worth of equipment where and when it was needed.

Was it terrifying? No (at least not to me).

It was Nature, doing her thing -- writ large.   My experience was more like the kick of riding a roller-coaster: Exciting, exhilarating, adrenaline-drenched. Frightening only in the way that one lets oneself be frightened by scary movies or at the amusement park. The thrill of being in the backyard when they got the word to "Light it up!" was one I will never forget.

I am truly saddened that firefighters died and some people were injured. I am sorry about the loss of our treehouse and the incalculable loss of the beautiful forest land. I empathize with people who were actually terrified by the situation -- Jane is one of them -- but I can only guess at what it must be like to feel that way.   In my fifty years, there are only a handful of things that I can point to as a once-in-a-lifetime experience. This one goes right on the the top of that list. And I'd not trade that memory for anything.

Mangled Movie Quotes -- A quiz

2008-01-04T19:17:00.000-08:00

The idea is to recognize the quote and recall the actual quote along with the movie title and the character and/or actor who said it. Have fun!

Q01: "Play it again, Sam"
Q02: "Frankly, sweetcakes, I don't give a rat's ass."
Q03: "Sundance, we've jumped off a cliff!"
Q04: "I fully expect to return to this location forthwith."
Q05: "If that's on the menu, I'd like some, too."
Q06: "The odor of gellified gasoline burning is refreshing."
Q07: "We just ain't understandin' one another, are we?"
Q08: "You idiots! You made the Statue of Liberty fall over!"
Q09. "I desire to be in the Midwest. I desire to be in the Midwest."
Q10: "They call me Mister Pibs."
Q11: "The protuberance leading to a flower in a plant of a prickly shrub."
Q12: "Quit bending the eating utensils... they've all gone missing."
Q13: "There are few entrepreneurial endeavors akin to theatrical production!"
Q14: "Stock. Jamie Stock."
Q15: "The enemy cannot push a button if you pin his hand it to the wall with a throwing knife!"
Q16: "Credentials? I do believe we are without credentials. Sorry."
Q17: "Lordy, Look! That black rectangle thingy is full of stairs!"
Q18: "If you stay here, you will die."
Q19: "I guess you consider fortune on your side today?"
Q20: "I am well versed in Chinese martial arts."
Q21: "MONTALBAAAAAAAAAN!"
Q22: "Your hunt for the automatons must continue."
Q23: "Asps. No big deal. Follow me."
Q24: "Whether I am morally right or wrong, I have the firearm."
Q25: "The cardiologist has inadvertantly inserted a cooked vegetable. As a result, your life expectancy has been significantly reduced."
Q26: "Help me feel good about my actions this afternoon."
Q27: "I guess I'll just boil, then eat, my shoe."
Q28: "I figure that vessel of yours is a tad too small"
Q29: "What is your serious failure, unfeeling testicles?"
Q30: "African legumes and Tuscan wine go really well with a fresh sweetbread."
Q31: "My parental adviser reduces existence to a random selection of sweetpacket contents."
Q32: "Some people are in that TV static!"
Q33: "I intend to capture you, lovely young lady, and I'm not a big fan of canines, either."
Q34: "Hablo el xp, infant"
Q35: "I'm remarkably indifferent toward these slithering creatures sharing my flight."
Q36: "I intend to make an irresistible proposition."
Q37: "Is it me to whom you are addressing your apparently derogatory comments?"
Q38: "Dear sirs, violence is out of the question inside this aptly named establishment!"
Q39: "That is not the Thracian for which you are looking!"
Q40: "Hugh made me want to eat a buttered yam."
Q41: "La la la! I'm a welder-slash-wet-t-shirt-dancer trying out for the ballet! La la la!"
Q42: "Are you armed with a deadly weapon, or is that a general indication of fondness?"
Q43: "It seems strange to me that you should mention mortality and the 16th Amendment together."
Q44: "We have clearance, Roger." "Roger, Clarence."
Q45: "Jonny, do you like movies like Q39?"
Q46: "Their arrival is conditional on your completion of the construction."
Q47: "Go out and search for whatever criminals we usually blame."
Q48: "Andrea!"
Q49: "Estrella!"
Q50: "But it goes to 0x0b!"
Q51: "She had physical contact with my member, Steven."
Q52: "Giddiup, Yee Ha! Mister Falcone!"
Q53: "You may refer to me as Ickymeal."
Q54: "Let's go, Argentum!"
Q55: "I'll have a citrus flavoured soda. In an unhygienic tumbler..."
Q56: "There's a way to make music without using your vocal chords. Do you know the technique?"
Q57: "The organizational charter of this Bridge Club specifies that we must never talk about Bridges."
Q58: "He done gots da wrong-ass cup."
Q59: "Alien email"
Q60: "You better stay on THAT side of this crumbling stone bridge thing!"
Q61: "Lulu tends to end up with objects she desires."
Q62: "Oooh, chewing gum!"
Q63: "EDICIMOH"
Q64: "Look! The palm crystal indicates that you've updated your magazine subscription!"
Q65: "Wake Up!"
Q66: "Start in the center of that RIDICULOUS SPIRAL, and move forward along the oddly-colored pavement."
Q67: "It's The Really REALLY Big Guy Made Out of Spongy Candy!"
Q68: "Physician, Tired, Stupid, Shy, ... etc."
Q69: "The square root of one thousand, seven hundred and sixty four."
Q70: "Two words: Poly Urethane."
Q71: "Give me more information! Give me more information! E.g., Does the guy own an automobile?"
Q72: "Enough with the tears, Uruguay!"
Q73: "The Electricity of Jesus Forces You!"
Q74: "Hey, Cambodia!"
Q75: "I have no desire to wield my weapon, and you'd prefer to continue living."
Q76: "La, La, La! I'm a purple hippo in a tutu. La La La!"
Q77: "There is a certain level of difficulty in being ecologically correct."
Q78: "Mathew, I am your Uncle's Second Cousin, Once Removed."
Q79: "How many can I serve, Chino, and still have one small glass of tequila left for me?"
Q80: "One measuring unit of this refined beet pulp product ought to help prevent the usual gag reflex."
Q81: "Cool!" [I'll just walk on this large piano]
Q82: "Cherubim sprout strange appendages whenever you experience certain harmonic vibrations."
Q83: "One advantage of friendship is that you get to avoid apologizing."
Q84: "It's expensive, and it belongs to me."
Q85: "There's an outside chance that I might have become a top prizefighter."
Q86: "As ruler of the earth, I'm practically certain that I won't fall into the ocean!"
Q87: "It's a mine you can glue, it's a gluey mine."
Q88: "Dallas, it seems we're in a bit of a pickle."

Note: The answers to these can be found at:
http://www.experts-exchange.com/Other/Lounge/Q_23017128.html

The 1st annual(?) SF/F Movie Marathon

2007-12-11T15:34:00.000-08:00

Jane and I were at one of Tom and Marie's parties when the subject of old Science Fiction/Fantasy movies came up -- and how films like The Invasion of the Bodysnatchers and The Wizard of Oz are evergreen but get so mangled by interruptions of commercial TV... the discussion triggered fond memories of a "movie marathon" event, put on by Filmex in Los Angeles about 25 years ago.

Anyway, that was the genesis of the idea:
Put on a movie marathon as a sort of all-day-and-all-night party at our house. I have always been a reader of science fiction and I've collected over 100 AVI files of rips od SF/F movies. I typically use Jane's laptop as a "video server" sending output to our Hitachi 48-inch TV, but I got the idea of using Jane's presentation projector to get an even larger picture. The result was a 127-inch diagonal-measure screen -- the size of the king-sized bedsheet we used as the screen. That's larger than any TV I've ever seen and I guess it's about as big as you can get without actually going to a theater.

After going back-and-forth with the idea, I finally sent out the invitations for a weekend-after-Thanksgiving event. This coincided nicely with the kids being home (Amanda had flown back from Wittenberg to do an interview in San Francisco, then via train and bus on to our house, and Robert came in from San Jose). The invitations suggested bringing pajamas and plan on staying up all night -- but indicated that you can come and go as you want.

I did a few test runs with the equipment, and Jane and I spent many hours rearranging furniture and shopping (for industrial quantities of popcorn, Raisonettes, RedVines, high-cafeine soda, coffee, and RedBull, etc. I even found some Hersheys chocolate that claimed it was high in anti-oxidents, which I carefully marked as "for medicinal purposes.") We bought some low-to-the-ground futons, and cushons for the "nest" in the front row. With the top of the screen at ceiling level, everybody had an unobstructed view from a comfortable seat.

One of the hardest things was narrowing down the selection of movies. 24 hours is just not all that much time! So I extended the event on both ends, with a "Friday afternoon pre-marathon Terminator Marathon," and a Saturday night Post-marathon Lord of the Rings Marathon" The latter was a bit much, but how could I omit LOTR?

Anyway, I printed up copies of the flyer, below, to describe my thinking on each of the selections.

How did it all turn out? Everybody had a good time. People struggled with keeping awake, and I'm nearly certain that everybody dozed off at one point or another. Geroge and Vanessa were there and at one point, I noticed that Vanessa was sleeping soundly with Chocolate Chip nestled comfortably on her lap! I'm pretty sure that we are all "pod people" now :-)

Title	Why?
The Terminator (1984) also T2 & T3	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088247(et al.) T1 was on the “absolutely must have movie” list. It’s the source of pop-cultural reference such as “I’ll be back” and “The Governator” And can you say “James Cameron?” It’s virtually unique in that the sequels were separated by so much time and that they basically maintained the high quality of the original. Look for the really weird credit at the end, “Acknowledgement to the works of Harlan Ellison”I don’t know the details, but I think this relates to Ellison having (then) recently won a large settlement over some other SF story and Cameron doing some butt-covering. This 6-hour “pre-marathon marathon” will be running Friday afternoon as guests arrive. I suspect that we’ll be mostly chatting in the next room and doing Thanksgiving-type stuff, like playing Monopoly or doing jigsaw puzzles simultaneously. We’d really like to see you “drop in like family” Friday noon-ish.
Le Voyage dans la Lune (1902)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0000417/ This has to be the very first Science Fiction movie ever made; it’s a silent movie, about 15 minutes long. I apologize that I could only get the version that has some guy narrating the action with a grating French accent (rather than a simple musical score), but it is what it is.
Contact (1997)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118884/ In honor of the ten-year anniversary of Carl Sagan’s death, and also an AMHM (absolutely must have movie) entry. Sagan’s book gave extra depth to the characters and the story line and the underlying examination of personal belief systems, but the movie carries the main points brilliantly. Perhaps my favorite scene comes early when we segue from the young girl to the adult Dr, Arroway I’m gunna need a bigger antenna (brushes hair back). And who could forget: Would you like to take a riiiiiide?
Total Recall (1990)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100802/ Hard SF - inspired by a Philip K. Dick story. I could have blown half of the time budget on PKD-based films, and Blade Runner (1982) would top most people's lists, but I settled on this because of the mutant Kuato character (that’s just too cool) and the three-for-the-price-of-two mutant in the bar scene. Also: Sharon Stone, before Basic Instinct, and of course the always-impressive Arnold.
The Matrix (1999)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/ Iconic. And another AMHM. A rousing adventure with an excellent Hard SF storyline. One pop-cultural meme: Neo’s hand gesture when he and Morpheus are practicing fight technique (meaning Bring it; I’m ready). Another: There is no spoon Also: In high school, Amanda scripted and performed Agent Smith’s perfect world soliloquy in her drama class. I am so proud... Nearly everyone will agree that Matrix 2 and 3 are crap in comparison, there’s no way they could make the final cut, but even so, they are watchable.
Zardoz (1974)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070948/ This is usually not considered an all-time-great, so you may not have ever seen it. But it has some very cool SF concepts -- eugenics and utopia among them. How bored would you get if you were an immortal in a cloistered environment... forever? What sorts of complex social rules would evolve? Meme: The Plague of the Apathetics. And it does have a post-Bond Sean Connery looking awfully studdly.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0049366/ This is a true classic. In my mind and (I think) in that of many of my generation, this film has a special place. You’re at a sleepover and at midnight, the guy on TV says, It’s Friday Niiiiiiiiiight-MaaaAAAAAre Theater and you settle down to watch an old B&W Frankenstein film or perhaps I was a Teenage Werewolf. These films don’t really scare you, but they do tend to stick in your memory banks. Bodysnatchers holds up well and IMDB gives it very high 8.0/10 User Rating. I’ve scheduled this for the wee hours since one theme is that if you fall asleep, you get pod-ified! The fact that Donald Sutherland, Jeff Goldblum, Lenoard Nimoy, and Nicole Kidman would deign to participate in remakes of this classic is an indication of the quality of the story. I really wanted to also show the 1978 remake because the ending is so chilling, but the time budget ran out... for this year :-)
Starship Troopers (1997)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120201/ As a 5th grader, I looked forward to Tuesday evening, because the bookmobile parked down the block. The SF section was meager, and I had read everything in it, but occasionally, a new (to me) Robert A. Heinlein novel would appear on the shelf in the back corner. I can still feel the rush of anticipation, knowing I’d be up late reading by flashlight under the covers. Heinlein always delivers, and he holds an especially special place in my heart. It amazes me that so few of those books have been turned into movies. Although Troopers is not an all-time great movie, it is very good and it is worthy to represent the Dean of SF. The 1940’s-propoganda feel of the film is brilliant, and there are some great characters and moments: The enemy cannot PUSH a button, if you disable his hand! and Good job Sergeant Zim / That would be ‘Private’, sir. One reason that I scheduled this for just before daybreak is because of the wake-up-and-take-notice effect of Denise Richards :-)
City On the Edge of Forever	My one nod to the Star Trek franchise. Probably the best ST TOS episode; selected in part because it was written by Harlan Ellison (and there is some controversy surrounding the screenplay). I saw this projected large-screen at the only Star Trek convention I ever attended, back in about 1978.
The Incredibles (2004)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317705/ One of the ideas of showing this animated feature is to re-experience that Saturday-Morning-Cartoons feeling. This is a high-quality "cartoon" and fun to (re)watch -- a good example of quality SF comedy. I especially love when "E" (the Edith Head-style costume designer) convinces Mr. Incredible to avoid the cape.
7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057812/ I first saw this a few months after moving to Los Angeles when I attended my first (and only) LASFS convention. I had just finished reading A Mote in God’s Eye and I found myself sitting in front of a rather inebriated Jerry Pournelle as this 1964 film was screened -- I kept cracking up at his running commentary. The movie is notable for several other reasons, with the incredible performance of Tony Randall and a pre-Jeanie appearance by the Dreamy Barbara Eden.
Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052948/ One of Jane’s favorites (she always drools over Pat Boone). Jules Verne was a pioneer in the SF genre, perhaps even "The Father of SF." so a movie based on one of his books must absolutely have a spot in the lineup. Following the trail of the mysterious Arne Saknussemm, adventuring deep into the bowels of the Earth, a raft-ride on an ocean therein and a magnetic whirlpool at the center... giant mushrooms, and Pat Boone. What more could one want in a movie?
Time Bandits (1981)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081633/ A sort of juvenal but perfectly watchable for all ages. There are some semi-subtle funnies here -- the bits with Michael Palin and Shelley Duvall always crack me up and I especially love how deliciously evil Evil is.
Jason and the Argonauts (1963)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057197/ Another mandatory requirement for this event is to show at least one example of the stop-motion special effects produced by Ray Harryhausen. Who among us was not deeply impressed by the giant bronze statue and the fighting skeletons?
Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486576/ This was a last-minute inclusion that I can probably be convinced to swap it out. I did want to show one very recent movie, and this one is not all that bad. My family used to always watch Dark Angel together, so Jessica Alba is a family favorite. I’m a big fan of Michael Chiklis, going back to The Commish and he does get a few moments where his face is visible in this movie.
Wizard of Oz (1939)	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070948/ This is the mother of all pop-culture references. When I was a kid, this movie was shown on TV every year, around Thanksgiving. Having had a B&W TV, it was many years before I knew that most of the film was in color! I have a cousin who would do the witch’s voice exactly, and she’d crack us up with and Toto, too? at odd moments. Wizard of Oz was shown at one of the FilmEx's 24-hour marathons back when Jane and I were dating (or maybe just recently married) and that was the first time I’d seen it on a big screen. Our screen is not quite that big, but the movie is big enough on its own :-)
Lord Of the Rings 1,2,3	http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120737/(et al.) Tolkien’s masterpiece is rich in characters and images. This is High Fantasy at its best. Several tries were made at making a LOTR movie, but all were terrible until Peter Jackson took a run at it. Back in the ‘70s, if you picked up a long-haired hitchhiker, his back pocket was likely-as-not to be bulging with a tattered copy of one of The Trilogy (no other qualifier necessary). It’s a shared experience in my generation, and I am ecstatic that the next generation can own it, too. Robert and I have previously done this back-to-back-to-back 11-hour marathon, and it was great fun. I hope we have enough hard-core fans to stick around for the post-marathon marathon -- I think you’ll find it worthwhile.
(clips)	I made a series of short clips to show between films by brutally slashing larger works. These include: * The obelisk/monkey scene from 2001 A Space Odyssey (volume turned up) * Trimmed-down TwilightZone ep It's a Good Life * Trimmed-down OuterLimits ep Zanti Misfits * Start/end of The Jetsons * The "theatrical production" in Reboot ep End Prog [this is a classic] * The "Dutch apple pie, it's terrific" scene from Starman * The "slight glitch" from the start of Robocop * The Farah Facett sequence from Logan's Run * The opening credits from Barbarella (sex-kitten/political activist snicker snicker) * Some flying saucer movie trailers from the 1950's * "You maniacs, you blew it up" from Planet of the Apes.

Waikiki, Pearl Harbor, Mauna Kea, Keck!

2007-08-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

My daughter Amanda was working a summer internship in Hawaii (after spending nearly a year in Japan), it seemed like a great time for Jane and I to take a first visit to that island paradise… but with me working on the business “re-startup” and Jane having several deadlines, and finances somewhat tight, we had pretty much decided it was not going to be possible. Then a free airline ticket fell into my hands, and that tipped the balance. So... off to Hawaii we went! Alas, Robert couldn't be there -- he had only recently started his job in San Jose (he's working as a Software Engineer for Adobe Software, makers of Acrobat, Photoshop, etc.).

I’d told Jane that the two things I really wanted to do if we ever went to Hawaii was to 1) Watch some grass skirts shaking and 2) See “that big telescope” on Mauna Kea. I am an avid “science hobbyist” and I’d often read of what a great site that was for astronomy – situated on top of a 13,796 feet high mountain, unmarred by light pollution, and much closer to the equator, this is a science buff’s dream.

Well, Jane came through as always :-). She found out that (by coincidence) we’d be in Hawaii on the one day per month that a docent-lead tour of the Keck Observatory was open to the public! What’s more, at the Visitor’s center (at 8,000 feet) after the tour, there would be a group of amateur astronomers viewing the skies. She organized the whole sequence – we get to Oahu and stay one night, take the short flight to the Big Island, rent a four-wheel-drive jeep in Hilo, and drive to the Visitor’s Center. From there, a group of about 10 vehicles caravanned to the top where we were ushered into several of the observatories, including the famous Keck I, itself!

While we were inside, the telescope started rotating (slewing), then pivoting in every direction… I asked what was going on (after all, the dome was closed) and the guide (a graduate student at UH) said, “The guys in the back are just showing off, trying to impress you.”

Well, I was impressed!

The giant machine stopped swiveling in a position that was tipped so far to the side that we could actually see the face of the mirror! It is really a collection of 36 huge hexagonal mirrors each of which are like this (spread arms wide) fitted together to make a 10-meter reflective bowl (scale to visualize: Think of five tall men and a child laid head-to-toe -- and compare to the mere "hundred inches" of the telescope on Mt. Wilson ). The equipment that keeps the mirror segments stable is impressive – it adjusts each segment to an accuracy of a few nanometers, to offset the varying gravity as the position of the combined mirror slews. To clean the mirrors, they do not use squeegies! They blow liquid nitrogen on them and as it flakes off, it takes any dust or whatever with it.

The Keck is also famous for its “adaptive optics” – the main mirror reflects the light to the focusing mirrors, each of which has tiny pistons that make adjustments every few microseconds so that the light they focus on the CCD cameras (or eyepiece, as it were) is steady – the result is a rock-solid image where the stars do not “twinkle” (an unwanted affect caused by the earth’s atmosphere).

Remember, we were at an elevation of almost 14,000 feet – the air is very thin there. Almost any exertion, such as climbing stairs, is magnified to the extreme. At the last stop, there was a short trail to the very peak. Amanda and I hiked over to it, and though the summit was not much higher than the parking lot, I’m here to tell you that we had to stop often to catch our breath. Here’s a picture of the bench mark at the top of Mauna Kea.

I can proudly say that I’ve now been on top of both Mt. Whitney (highest in California, highest in the “continental U.S” at 14,495 feet) and Mauna Kea (highest in Hawaii at 13,796 feet -- highest in the world, by one measure 33,000 from it’s “base” at the bottom of the ocean). I doubt if I'll ever bag Denali (Mt. Mckinley) in Alaska, but who knows... Maybe some day I’ll bag Mt. Elbert in Colorado and/or King’s Peak in Utah!

The USS Arizona Memorial and the submarine, USS Bowfin
One can hardly visit Hawaii without going to Pearl Harbor. We drove out and got in line for tickets on the shuttle boat that would take us to the Memorial floating above the sunken ship that is a tomb for the 1,177 sailors and marines who died inside her on that “Day of Infamy,” December 7, 1941.

While waiting for our turn to be shuttled to the Memorial, we had a couple of hours so we walked over to the USS Bowfin and took a self-guided tour. Submarines have always fascinated me – I think especially after seeing the movie Das Boot which somehow “made real” what it would be like to serve as a submariner. Though the Bowfin is larger than a U-boat (crew of 80 vs. 55), the “feel” is the same – tiny cramped corridors, three-level bunks, bunks in the torpedo rooms (imagine sleeping inches from tons of high explosive!). What most impressed me is that the ship had FOUR huge 16-cylinder diesel engines; each piston is NINE INCHES in diameter! Jane got rather peeved when I unscrewed a valve cover to take a closer look at the insides.

One cool thing in the sub was the “emergency procedures” booklet mounted on a wall. There was a series of diagrams showing instructions for the “back pressure-arm lift method” of saving a drowned man (IN with the good air, OUT with the bad (lol)). This is interesting since Jane has been a CPR instructor in the past. I asked her when the “modern” method was invented and she said she thought it was in the 1960’s. That triggered am intense memory for me:

When I was about 5 years old, living on a farm in Wyoming, my little sister fell into 10-foot deep hole partly filled with water. My brother and I ran up to the house yelling, “LoraLee fell in the well!!!!” My mother had just weeks before finished taking a class on the “new method” of rescue breathing. She ran down the hill and saw LoraLee’s 2-year-old body floating face down in the murky water. This is the part that I still find remarkable -- it makes me respect my mother more than I can say: With her baby in mortal danger, my mother did not panic and jump right into the well. She had the presence of mind to quickly grab up a long pole that was nearby and check the depth of the water (I’m certain that her training included a warning like “If you drown, then you can’t possibly save anyone.”) Then she jumped in, turned my sister face-up in the water, pulled her head back, cleared the airway, and breathed life into her.
It gives me chills to think of it.

Now… back to Pearl Harbor…
Our ticket number was called and we went into a theater to watch a 30-minute movie about the events of Dec 7, 1941. An interesting thing about the film was that all of the video was taken from archive footage of the era and of that day. We filed onto the boat and took the short voyage to the Memorial and walked around in the eerily silent hall, with the names of so many valiant soldiers carved into a marble wall. If you look down from one side, you see what’s left of a large smokestack. On the other side, you’ll see more of the outline of the ship though the water.

What fascinated me was that there is very small oil slick on that spot. As you watch, a droplet of oil floats to the surface and spreads out in a dazzling sheen of color in the bright sunlight. A few seconds later, another oily drop rises. I verified this, because I found it incredible: Those are, in fact, drops of diesel fuel still rising after 66 YEARS. That’s gotta be a very tiny puncture in an enormous fuel tank.

The trip “around” the island…
For one of our day trips, we decided to drive around the island of Oahu. There is a highway that appears to circle the entire island, so we grabbed some cold soda and started driving. It was a beautiful drive. We sidetracked briefly into BYU, Hawaii campus and looked around -- my cousin Brett went to school (and, I believe, met the beautiful Verna) there.

We stopped at a little food stand off the highway and had some ultra-spicy shrimp. It eventually occurred to me that all of those ponds we’d been driving past were shrimp ranches (visual image: tiny chap-clad shrimp wranglers on seahorses... "Eee--YHaaa! Move-em up! Head em out!").

After passing the North Beach area, we got to a stretch of road that I’d like to think of as the “real Hawaii” – a very rural area with beach houses – all on stilts, many with “For Sale” signs. I kept thinking… if they have Internet, I could live right there (Jane said it was too hot, and anyway, who wants to have their house blown away every time there’s a storm…). The road got narrower and up past Mokuleia (where we saw people surfing being pulled by these strange and beautiful gull-winged kites), the highway petered out into a dirt road, then a muddy track…and a closer look at the map made it clear that we’d need to turn back and cut through the middle of the island, past Wheeler Army Airfield. That little for feer (practice journey?) to yener ek velt (the corner of the world) made the drive all the more enjoyable.

And don’t forget the grass skirts…
I have this cousin-in law (yep, Bretty’s wife, Verna) who is an expert at Polynesian dances – she even teaches them. If you beg long enough, she’ll do a demo at a family reunion. There is something deeply erotic about the way a woman can sway her hips that way. It’s probably a subconscious, instinctive effect, but the male of the species is almost universally attracted to that uniquely feminine loose hip movement. Think of how many cultures promote a similar motion in their traditional dances (hmmmm... Bellydancers!)

So, one night we went to a luau on the western side of the island, a place called Paradise Cove (coincidentally, a name that the kids and I used to use when talking about a certain little-known, hard-to-reach spot where we've camped in the Angeles National Forest). The entertainment was everything I’d hoped for -- with about a dozen hula dancers skillfully (and vigorously) shaking booty. Jane and Amanda seemed more impressed with the fire dancer who had full-body tattoo covering his rippling, sculpted muscles (there’s no accounting for taste). The feast was great, including, you guessed it, hunks of meat from a pig that had roasted all day in a fire pit. The sunset over the water was spectacular.

Hike to Diamondhead
From our room in the hotel, we had a good view of Diamondhead, which is the highest point of a caldera left after an ancient volcanic explosion. There’s a trail up to the top that takes a couple of hours to hike. The “hike” includes long concrete stairways, and a long person-sized tunnel that cuts through from the inside of the caldera to the outside… you end up in a concrete bunker that was used as an artillery emplacement, as long ago as the early 1900s. The views from the top were spectacular.

There was a cute redhead in the parking lot.

Well, that's what I did on my summer vacation, 2007!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
It was great to be able to spend time with Amanda who has been away in Japan for so long. She was just one week at home before winging off to her summer internship in Waikiki, then only one more week at home before heading East to Wittenberg for her senior year in college (my, how time flies!).

2007-02-10T23:29:00.000-08:00

The Jane Austen Ball, 2007
I admit that I am a fan of Jane Austen's work... especially "Pride & Prejudice" -- at first, perhaps, because my wife, Jane, professed to loving the book and I wanted to gain some insight into her thinking, but later just because it is such an enjoyable story. The characters are memorable and the times in which they lived were so interesting and contrast so sharply with current life, while at the same time, the underlying nature of people is really so similar now. The value systems were entirely different, but the mechanisms by which those values express themselves seem to be a universal constant. Austen was able to illustrate that so well.

So...
My wife approaches me about going to this dance where everybody gets dressed up in Regency-era costumes and dances the "English Country Dances" that are seen in the P&P movie. It looked a lot like folk dancing to me (Jane had been part of a folk-dancing group in college) and I knew that it would give her a lot of pleasure if I participated. In short, I agreed.

About dancing with my wife...
Over the years, Jane and I have taken classes in disco, ballroom, swing, and salsa dancing. For about a year, we spent each Wednesday night at what looks like a biker bar most of the week, but on Wednesday, the back room turns into a haven for swing dancers -- some of them regional contest winners. I gotta say that some nights, it felt more like a trip to the dentist than anything I'd choose to do on my own, and I'd start making noises about leaving about an hour after the lesson was over, but usually there were at least a few moments where I was actually enjoying myself. After all, swing music is vibrant and lively, with some clever lyrics. The good dancers are fun to watch, and once you have some confidence in the moves, one can forget about everything else, and just "swing" -- enjoy the ride that you and your partner are taking around the dance floor.

I have an anecdote about our most recent dance classes (a 6-week course on Salsa, which is basically the Cha-Cha but without the distinctive "cha-cha-cha" step). As in many such classes, there were more females than males. And in this class, the standard procedure for pairing up was to have the men in the middle, and the ladies forming a large circle around the outside. Then each man would go to his partner and the "extras" were interleaved between the couples... then each man would dance once with his partner, then with the lady to the left, then again with the partner, then with the gal on the right...

Anyway, one week I got stuck between two rose-water smelling grannies. As we left the class, I jokingly said something like "Jane, you could be more selective about who you stand next to..." We both laughed and forgot about it.

But the next week, when the outer circle formed, Jane (accidentally?) positioned herself next to this young couple who was learning to dance for their wedding. I can’t remember a thing about the guy, but his fiancée was this drop-dead gorgeous 20-year old blond who was built like a centerfold wearing a tight, low-cut sweater that, well, didn't leave one guessing. Needless to say, when I danced with Jane, I was a virtual Fred Astaire, but when I rotated to take a turn with the beauty queen, my heart was pounding, my palms were dripping with sweat, and I had about three left feet. I did nothing but stumble about and feel miserable.

The moral of that story is "Be careful in what you wish for... you might just get it." :)

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
All I'm saying is that it was not out of character for me to agree to give this Jane Austen Ball a try. There were two practice sessions in the preceding weeks where newbies to the art could learn the dances. It looks quite complicated, and it would be except that, like in Square Dance, we had a caller who sang out instructions for each move.

A bit of background on English Country dancing:
The dances form up in lines, ladies on one side, men on the other, then they form into subgroups of (usually) four ("Take hands, four!"). Now you know if you and your partner are a ONE or a TWO. Terms like First Gentleman and Second Corner refer to that, so it's important. Other terms like Honor your partner (bow). Turn Single, Cross With The Corner, and Cast Up are not that hard to learn, and if you don't know what to do, there is probably an experienced dancer in the group (or your partner) who will helpfully point where you are supposed to be. As long as you are in the right place for the next step (like walking away from an airplane crash) you will be alright.

Each dance has a distinctive series of perhaps eight or ten steps. In one of those steps, the ONEs switch places with the TWOs (they Progress Up -- toward the front of the room) and the TWOs move toward the back of the room. You remain a ONE or a TWO until you get to the end of the line, then you stand out for a round and come back in as the opposite type who will be doing different moves. That "standing out" rest is important because it give you a chance to pay close attention to the couple that is doing the other sequence of steps (e.g., if you were a TWO, you watch the ONEs closely and try to forget all the stuff that, after five progressions, you were just *barely* getting the hang of doing right :-)

As a guy, you are basically dancing with your PARTNER, but you interact with the NEIGHBOR gentleman and the CORNER lady. Now here's the social part that is quite different from other forms of dancing:

When you "cross with the corner" (et. al), one beat before the move, you make eye contact with the other lady and exchange smiles. Then, when you touch hands, it could be all mechanical, or you could subtly "show interest" in this other lady. In an era when social contact precluded most touching or any kind of outward intimacy, this is a chance for a young man to meet and interact with all of the eligible young ladies (and vice-versa, of course).

One thing that threw me off a few times:
There were lots more ladies than gentlemen, and it was not unusual for ladies to pair up (after all, just because they couldn't get a date is no reason not to have fun). But the downside is that in some moves, you expect to interact with the NEIGHBOR -- who is supposed to be a man -- and it can be a bit confusing when there is a lady in that spot.

Some of the dancers had been doing this for years, and it we fun to pick out a group who was really in sync on an "advanced dance" and watch them; though most moves are relatively simple, the combinations can appear very intricate. Experienced dancers are always smiling and clearly having a Good Time.

So, back to the Ball:
Jane had commissioned a custom-tailored ball gown from a "costumer." But I, and the couple we were with, rented costumes for the event. In the afternoon, there was a "High Tea" and Jane and I concocted separate costumes from bits and pieces we found in old chests in the attic. For the Tea, I undid my ponytail (something I just never do) and let my hair hang down round my face. My daughter, Amanda, seeing the photos, later said it made me look "Byronic" :-)

Then for the Ball itself, we changed into our formal costumes. I was in a sky-blue suit -- with vest and tailcoat; gloves on my hands and a frilly whatchmacallit at my chest.

All in all, it was like being a kid playing "dress up." This time, I tied back my hair with a very "George Washington" - style ribbon. I think I was rather dashing. But I intentionally thought of myself as "a Mr. Bennet" and not "a Mr. Darcy" :-)

We sat at a table next to a young couple who had driven in from Barstow for the event. The gal looked about 18, and her boyfriend looked about "uncomfortable and long-suffering." There was plenty of tea and lots of pastries, but no crumpets, per se, which was a big disappointment for me :o)

For entertainment during the Tea, a guy (one of the organizers) gave a "lecture" on Regency Era Etiquette... he obviously loved his topic and his talk was quite interesting, as he brought people up from the audience, taught them how to bow and curtsy, and so forth. It provided great background info to fill-in the gaps that Austen would not have described in the books -- such things were just understood at the time of the writing.

Historical tidbit: The period in the early 1800's is called "Regency England", because the King at the time (George III) was deemed unfit to rule, so a proxy (a regent) was instated to rule in his place.

He described how the gentry were *always* aware of their place in society... who was above them ("a man of such consequence..."), equal to, and below them. When introduced to a person of higher ranking, one would bow low... while actual titled nobility would barely nod the head to anyone but a true peer.

In a scene from Chapter 56 pf P&P, Elizabeth says to Lady Catherine de Bourgh,

"He is a gentleman; I am a gentleman's daughter; so far we are equal."

...which illustrates that such social calculations were constantly being performed, and could be discussed logically. Our speaker at the Austen Tea said that such calculations were "virtually instinctive;" that is, one would know without being told where one stood in relation to everyone else. It occurred to me that it might seem instinctive, but in reality, it was a learned behavior. Certainly one would have been trained to pick up subtle clues -- aside from dress and jewelry, there would be manners and how one carried oneself. But there would be other mechanisms in play, for instance, even across the room in the corner of your eye, if you see a person you do not know being introduced to one that you already do know, then you would see who bowed lower during that introduction. Thus, without even conscious thought, when you are later introduced, you can act accordingly.

The other "take away" note from the lecture:
The most "unforgivable sin" at the time was to be boring. Young ladies learned music or had another entertaining talent. Everyone learned and practiced dilligently at the art of conversation. One studied hard at knowing everybody else's relatives and connections so that one could ask after them and make intelligent conversation with that person. You might practice in front of a mirror for hours, trying out variations of "your gown is lovely" and memorizing witty things to say if certain remarks were made. You had better learn to play cards and talk at the same time. If you just sat in the corner and did nothing, you would probably not get invited to the next social event.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
But I digress...
There were 16 dances, and I believe we danced about 10 of them. One was a standard Waltz (which is probably the one ballroom dance that I actually really enjoy doing -- you don't have to worry about footwork or fancy moves... you just float around the floor having a good time). The rest we had practiced in the preceding weeks and were tagged either Easy or Intermediate.

A big favorite dance is called (of all things) "Mr. Beveridge's Maggot" and it is the memorable dance from the BBC P&P Mini-series where Elizabeth and Darcy first dance. It's a good one for the movie because they start out as TWOs who (in this dance) have little to do, so they can converse easily, and then they can have even more witty repartee when they are Out at the top.

The dance includes an unusual move in which all four persons join hands and march forward before falling back to reform as two side-by-side couples. It is a distinctive and dramatic moment -- a watcher sees the systematic chaos of the separate dancers and partners scrambling about in various directions all over the floor, then suddenly as if by magic, everyone is facing the same direction and moving in lockstep toward the front of the room.

Next time you dust off the P&P DVD, look for that scene and imagine Dan & Jane in the middle of the group :-)

Disaster in Los Angeles

2005-11-20T13:06:00.000-08:00

I'm reposting this LOL-worthy "news story" from a couple of months ago. It was suggested that since I live in the area, a man-on-the-street eyewitness view of the situation would be useful... so the addition at the end is mine:

No electricity for 26 minutes. 'This is our Tsunami.'

By Joshua Gates. Actor. Photographer. Victim.

LOS ANGELES, CA, September 12, 2005 - Horror and disbelief swept through the greater Hollywood area this afternoon as a minor power-outage turned the city into a virtual war zone and local residents struggled to deal with the devastating aftermath.

The outage struck at 1:35 PM, during L.A.'s busy afternoon coffee and Pilates rush hour. Traffic lights fell dark, local gyms and sushi restaurants were without power for nearly 30 minutes, and many businesses were illuminated only by the light of the sun and its blistering 78 degree heat. "It was horrible," said out of work actor and voice-over artist Rick Shea. "I was in a Jamba Juice on Melrose when it hit and the blenders simply shut down. A woman lunged for my Berry Lime Sublime and after that, well, it got pretty ugly."

In the ensuing panic, local radio stations broadcasted conflicting reports as to exactly which local businesses would be offering relief supplies. Almost 100 people flocked to the Starbucks at Santa Monica and La Brea only to find helpless baristas, no hot coffee, and a totally meager selection of baked goods. "My mother is 83 years old and we heard on the radio that this Starbucks was going to be up and running. If she doesn't get a venti Arabian Mocha Sanani, I don't know what's going to happen to her, I really don't." said Lucinda Merino of Los Feliz. To make matters worse, those few people who did manage to get coffee were further thwarted by a total lack of artificial sweeteners on site.

"Sugar in the Raw? Are you frigging kidding me?" sobbed local homosexual and avid salsa dancer Enrique Santoro. "I'm on the South Beach Diet and my insulin levels are going to go crazy if I use this. Why isn't the rest of the country doing something?"

Deteriorating conditions will force authorities to evacuate the thousands of people at local Quiznos, movie theaters, and upscale shopping centers, including the The Beverly Center, where a policeman told CNN unrest was escalating. The officer expressed concern that the situation could worsen overnight after patrons defaced multiple "So You Think you Can Dance" posters, looted a Baby Gap, and demanded free makeovers en masse at a MAC cosmetics store during the afternoon.

At least 2,000 refugees, a majority of them beautiful, will travel in a limo convoy to Beverly Hills starting this evening and will be sheltered at the 8-year-old Spago on North Canon where soft omelettes with confit bacon and Hudson Valley foie gras was being airlifted in by The National Guard.

Honorary Mayor of Hollywood Johnny Grant told a group of embedded reporters at a Koo Koo Roo Chicken restaurant on Larchmont that, "the scope and scale of this disaster is almost too much to comprehend. Local carwashes are at a stand-still, the tram tour at Universal Studios has been on hold for almost an hour now and I've been waiting for a rotisserie leg and thigh with a side of greens beans for upwards of 15 minutes. This truly is our Tsunami."

"We want to accommodate those people suffering in the Beverly Center as quickly as possible for the simple reason they have been through a horrible ordeal," Grant said.

"We need water. We need edamame. We need low-carb bread," said Martha Owens, 49, who was one of the thousands trapped in the Beverly Center when the escalators stopped moving. "They need to start sending somebody through here."

Along miles of coastline, the power simply surged, causing writers to lose upwards of a page of original screenplay material, causing Direct TV service to work only intermittently, and forcing local residents to walk outside and look helplessly at the Pacific from their ocean view decks. "I can hardly begin to put this experience into words," said longtime 'Two and a Half Men' writer John Edlestein. "I was just getting into my rhythm and making some real headway on a scene where Charlie Sheen parties with a busload of female volleyball players when my Power Book crapped out. I have nothing. Simply, nothing."

Delivering his weekly radio address live from the White House, President Bush announced he was deploying more than 7,000 additional active-duty troops to the region. He comforted victims and praised relief workers. "But despite their best efforts, the magnitude of responding to a crisis over a disaster area this sunny and trendy has created tremendous problems," he said. "The result is that many of our citizens simply are not getting the help they need, especially in the Hollywood Hills, and that is unacceptable."

To add to the disaster Governor Schwartznegger was heard to say "I'm glad I'm in Sacramento," and Mayor Hahn hasn't been seen or heard from in three years......I think his name is Hahn?!?

Newscaster "Jim" called on me for an eyewitness report:

Well, Jim, reports from the ground are still sporatic. As you can see from the people milling around behind me, the scene here at this Home Depot is one of unbridled chaos. A text-message phone cascade fueled a rumor that the electricity was actually still on, but all of the lightbulbs in everyone's house had simultaneously burned out.

Friends and Family converged, first at the local Rite-Aids and Ralphses but creditcard readers were on the fritz and panic ensued as thousands of Angelenos made their way through streets -- uncontrolled by traffic signals -- to ever larger home-products stores. [empty Avian water bottle flies across the view] Hey! knock it off! [shakes fist] That five cent CALIFORNIA REFUND VALUE could save your life some day!

[sticks microphone out to bystander]
How are you coping with the disaster?

[bystander puts down surfboard in order to gesticulate toward hair] Dude! Just check it out!

[gasps] Sweet Mary on a GutBuster 2000®!! The hair dryer must have shut off mid-cycle! Your do is in an awful state!

[another man steps into view, proffering business card] I'm a lawyer, maybe I can help [they walk off, arm in arm, lawyer making reassuring sounds] ...permanent damage... ...looking at maybe 1.5 mil there...

Jim, I'm just getting word about a major problem developing at a local arcade [puts finger to ear,nodss] uh hum... [grimaces, then looks horrified] Pope in a Popsicle!! Really??? Is that Confirmed???? [looks back at the camera] I'm sorry to report that a local youth has been hospitalized when the Dance-Dance -Revolution machine stopped suddenly. His feet will not move... some sort of paralysis... no wait... [finger to ear again] One of the ambulance crew is humming the disco remix of Puff the Magic Dragon and the boy appears to be coming out of it. Well, that's Good News!

[finger to ear again] Now I'm hearing that the orderly evacuation of the city has been stalled... something about the freeways... there is a HUGE line of cars and SUVs filling all seventeen lanes of the northbound 405 and not moving at all..., another hybrid driver in the carpool lane has been shot dead..., and a mudslide is covering a section of PCH... Can we get a live shot of that, Jim, from the Channel Five Eyewitness News Eye-in-the-Sky NewsCopter Seven Featuring Weather Babe Joanna Banes in Revealing Lingerie?... [grimaces. whispers:] Well Christ on a Crutch! Just cut to some archival footage of the same thing last week! Do I need to tell you everything?

Oh! The humanity! Back to you, Jim.

Pride and Prejudice

2005-11-07T12:22:00.000-08:00

I've seen the BBC six-hour mini-series a number of times, and I always enjoy it. It is especially fine to sit with my wife and teenage daughter and wait for the favorite parts and sympathize with the characters, discuss the finer points of that peculiar English society, crack-wise at moments when levity is acceptable, and so forth.

I finally read the book and was amazed at how closely the mini-series matched it. There are only a very few inconsequential differences, though some literary fine points (such as the "narrator's" sometimes snide remarks) are of necessity missing, while the screenplay also adds a very few bonus lines to scenes that help the viewer understand things.

I'm looking forward to the new movie (staring Keira Knightly. But I can't imagine that they could do Jane Austen's book justice in only two hours, and anyway, how could it possibly be any good without Colin Firth as Darcy?

For what it's worth, here is my Pride and Prejudice Quiz ala-Dan.

Pride and Prejudice Quiz
1) If you were to encounter George Wickham in Brighton or perhaps the streets of London, would you:
a) Inquire after his health.
b) Curtsy, admire his demeanor, and continue on.
c) Kick him squarely in the yarbles.

Money:
2) Darcy's income is £______ per year
Bingley's income is £______ or £______ per year (perhaps more, according to Mrs. Bennet)
Wickham was given £______ in lieu of his "Living" He also had £______ from another endowment.
The agreement stipulated that Mr. Bennet was to pay (only) £______ per year to the Wickhams.
Wickham left Brighton with debts on the order of £______
Georgiana's fortune: £______
Lady Catherine de Bourgh has a chimney-piece that cost no less than £______

3) A bunch of girl lions hanging around a handsome guy lion is called a _______

4) Who lives where:
Pemberley in Derbyshire __________
Lambton __________
Netherfield ___________
Rosings _________
Gracechurch Street (near Cheapside) _____
Meryton ______
Longbourn House in Hertfordshire _____

5) If you had this once-in-a-lifetime chance to go to Brighton where the regiment was now stationed, you would:
a) flirt, flirt, flirt.
b) elope to Scotland.
c) do a bit of sea-bathing.
d) consult with your sensible older sister, you idiot.

6) The name of a city in Texas is ______________

7) If you happened across Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy at a Netherfield ball, you would:
a) Curtsy and inquire after the health of his sister.
b) Brashly introduce yourself and tell him that his aunt was quite well yesterday se'nnight.
c) You would avoid going to the ball altogether, for unstated reasons.
d) Do him, right then and there, on the ballroom floor.

8) Mr. Bennet and Mr. Bingley might be seen together shooting...
a) Cranberry Jello-O® shooters.
b) A gram of uncut Mexican black-tar heroin.
c) A BBC mini-series.
d) birds.

9) On the subject of music, Lady de Bourgh...
a) ...said. "Had I ever learned to play, I would be a great proficient."
b) ...advised. "Practice, practice, practice. Then make yourself available for Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs"

10) An 'entail' is:
a) A legal technicality by which a scummy shirt-tail relative ends up with your family estate.
b) When there is a severe shortage of Y-chromosomes in your progeny.
c) A type of dark yeasty brew quaffed by Tolkien's perambulating trees.

11) You find that Lizzy is badly shaken after reading a letter from Jane. You should...
a) Quickly exit the room, leaving her thinking that you are gone forever.
b) Discard your foolish English pride and wrap your manly arms around her to give her strength and comfort.
c) Ardently admire her, then immediately commence with the tongue kissing.

My commentary on P&P

I'd like to make a few observations about Lizzy. I consider her to be a true heroine of literature for many reasons, but particularly for this:

Early on, she formed an opinion and was thoroughly convinced of its truth. But when she was presented with new information, she mentally replayed everything she had heard and seen in the light of that new information and, incredibly, she was able to change her opinion, even reverse that early opinion. That is a truly amazing, admirable capacity.

I also liked that she could make fun of herself. When asked when she changed her opinion, she says "It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley." Jane scoffs, knowing it is a joke and the reader knows she is laughing at herself.

There was another scene that made a new impact on me when I read it:
Wickham is at Longbourn after being forced to marry Lydia. Lizzy has a private conversation with him and she has the great opportunity -- she can rake him over the coals, put him down, and nail him to the wall... but she does NOT. She pushes near the edge ("I did hear, too, that there was a time, when sermon-making was not so palatable to you as it seems to be at present") but then defuses the awkwardness and lets him off the hook, saying "Come, Mr. Wickham, we are brother and sister, you know. Do not let us quarrel about the past."

The image I formed is something like a "human social calculator." The book just describes the conversation, so it is all implied, but it appears to me that she (probably intuitively) analyzes all the good and all the bad that could come about if she drives home the knife, and realizes that there is nothing to gain. And by remaining silent, she proves to us that she has overcome her pride. Again, a very admirable human quality.

Family Reunion, etc...

2005-10-24T15:07:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot to show a picture of the locomotives at The Golden Spike, so there it is.

The focus of the vacation trip was the John K Black Family Reunion in a camp outside of Heber City Utah. After driving through CA, NV, ID, and northern UT, we got to Heber City the night before the reunion.

We were told not to go to the camp until afternoon, so we spent the morning on the "Scenic Heber Creeper" -- a slow-moving train that chugs through the beautiful Heber Valley. One fun part was that the train ride included a "mock holdup" by a pair of "outlaws" The "little one" was quite cute so I've included her picture... The "sheriff" asked me if the criminals had been bothering us and I said that the one guy had "had his way" with my wife. That earned me a sharp strike on the shoulder :)

The train "crept" past a small herd of horses in the river valley. There was one wobbly-kneed newborn pony (sorry, no picture!) that couldn't have been more than a couple of days old, suckling from a beautiful tawny-colored mare.

At the turn-around point, everybody got off the train and the engine took a side-track, and switched to the back of the train to pull us back to town. I was standing next to a wide-eyed kid about 8 years old as we watched this maneuver... then I had a thought "Watch this" I said.... I stuck a penny and a nickel on the track and we stared as the engine ran over it. I picked up the paper-thin coins and gave them to the kid (you could still just barely make out the faces of Jefferson and Lincoln). He was all, "Neat!" And I was proud of myself for thinking of it -- then I noticed dozens of elongated circles on the track (I was obviously not the first person with that idea :-)

The Reunion

The camp is incredible. It is a 20-minute drive from town, nestled in a quiet valley full of "quakies" and pines. It's an "LDS Girls Camp" that accessible only by a private road. We were incredibly lucky to get reservations there (I think somebody had to know somebody who knew somebody who was a mighty good Mormon). There were campsites with bunkhouses with separate cooking areas and flush toilets and a central amphitheater and fire pits. My cousin Jackie and her husband Barr drove in with a trailer full of food and we helped stock the walk-in refrigerator. Everything there was bright-shiny new. I marveled thinking how nice the "LDS Girls" have it -- when the LDS Boys Scouts go out, they sleep in tents and dig holes for toilets.

One of planned activities was the "Challenge Course." We broke up into groups and went to several stations where, as a group, we would work together to solve these challenging physical and mental puzzles. For instance, there are three stumps and three boards, and you need to make a bridge to get the entire team across.... the problem is that the boards are too short to reach from one stump to the next.
The solution involves members of the group holding down one end of the first board -- teeter-totter style -- while one guy carries the second board to the middle. He balances it in the center, with just about 1-foot overlap of the first board. Then by carefully shifting his weight, a second member can carry the third board far enough to set it down on the far end of the middle board and the farthest stump. Then the members can cross one-at-a-time, but the guy in the middle must move and shift his weight in perfect coordination. The last guy is a bit tricky, but by that time we had it down to a science.

Another challenge starts out simple: You just balance as you walk the length of a log. But then the challenge increases as two of the group must walk cross from different directions. When I went, my partner was a little nephew (one of the Columbian boys that my brother King recently adopted) and I just picked him up and put him behind me. Most people crouched down and hugged the log to let the partner crawl over their back. The final challenge there was to cross while blindfolded! (That's me in the foreground).

The coolest thing was the "Zip line." There were two VERY tall logs standing straight up with a 15-foot log between them near the top. The whole setup is guyed with cables. We were required to wear a helmet and a harness with a rope attached. The camp crew belay you for safety (220-pound Dean allowed as how that 90-pound girl on the other end of the rope was going to fly up like a sparrow if he fell (hehe).

First, you climb this really unstable "rope ladder" to get up to the crossbeam. On the left is my niece, Monica (eldest daughter of my yoga-instructing brother Vern). The photo on the right gives some idea of how far up you are. That point there.. where you transition from the ladder to the upper log is the trickiest and the scariest. More than one of the group got to that point and decided that the ground was a better place to be.

Once you get your balance on the log, you need to walk across to the other end (most of the group "cheated" by holding the belaying line as they walked). That's me clowning with the tightrope act. But I gotta say that my heart was pounding. I had to do yoga breathing and get a hard focus on the log before I could take the first step. After that, it's easy -- easy as falling off a ...errrr... easy as eating pie.

Finally you get to the other side and the guy there detaches your belay line and attaches your harness to this pulley that is on a down-sloping cable. You LEAP from the platform and fly through the air with a tremendous ZZZZZIPPPPPPPing sound!

This was great afternoon for all of the participants and all of the watchers.
This is Aunt Karen with one of her grand kids. The best part of the reunion was seeing all of my cousins and family that I grew up with and this new generation of little babies. We had sing-alongs, and talent shows (in lieu of actual talent, I recited "Jaberwocky") and hikes, and volleyball, and comic relay scramble, ... all those things. Somebody had volunteered our group to do a "camp improvement" project that involved hauling wheelbarrows full of shredded bark to line the trails -- and that sweaty bit of activity turned out to be one of the most enjoyable things.

Grandma Black died a few years ago, and 94-year-old Grandpa ("Poppie" to one and all) was too ill to attend. One night we sat around and "remembered" them. There are some great stories about this family and maybe one day I'll tell them here.

SRB Test Firing

2005-09-26T15:51:00.000-07:00

... or... What I did on my Summer Vacation Part I.
As we were driving through northern Utah, we saw the sign for the turn off to "Promintory Point" which is the location where the Golden Spike was driven at the completion of the Transcontinental railroad in 1869. We were in no great rush to get to Heber CIty, so we decided to take a little side-trip.

It's a desolate road -- dry land and alkalie flats and sagebrush. Partway there, we came to a place where maybe a hundred cars were parked along the sides of the road. I asked the first person I saw what was going on and she pointed over to the mountain (for the blog-impaired... click a picture to see a larger view of it):

"That set of building is part of the Thiokol complex... They are going to do a test-firing of a Shuttle EssAreBee ... That white cylinder on the right is one of the rockets like the two that are on the sides of the Space Shuttle. The large building on the left with the U.S. flag is the Assembly Plant where they put it together. It's going to fire in about 15 minutes!

Uh... uh....uh.... Cool!

We got out the camp chairs, and popped open some beverages and waited for the show to begin. It was more than 15 minutes, but we could hear a NASA-type voice in the distance saying something about "pre-programmed hold" and then there was a Countdown! 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1... then some sputtering flames and gouts of black smoke, then a TORRENT OF FLAME -- all in silence at first. Then after what seemed like a long time we heard what could have been fire crackers (it was that far way)Then there was an Tremendous EARSPLITTING ROOOOOOAR!!!!!
The smoke rose in a HUGE cloud... lit interally by THE FIRES OF HELL

The crowd cheered. It was truly awesome. The flames keep shooting out for almost three minutes. The sky filled with a GIGANTIC cloud of smoke. In a word: Spectacular.

What tickles me, perhaps more than anything: We were on the way to see a pair of steam locomotives from 140 years ago and purely by chance ended up ALSO seeing that most modern of all forms of transportation.

Hello Out There

2005-09-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

Hi!
I thought it might be fun to start one of these...